I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize