woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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