His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
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we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
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Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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