I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Randomize