I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
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Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
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How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize