im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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