So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize