Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize