I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize