apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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