it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize