And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
My breasts were aching with rage.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
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