I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize