i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
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