I just made out with a guy for $7.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
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I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
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You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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