I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
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