dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I just gift wrapped bread.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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