oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize