If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Randomize