You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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