no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
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Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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