i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize