if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize