I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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