you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize