And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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