and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
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Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
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He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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