We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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