weddingsv make me drug and hornr
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize