who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize