So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
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