**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
literally had 100 drinks last night.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
my shit smells like andre
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
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