Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
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he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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