I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize