so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
the day after is always just damage control
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
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Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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