giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
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U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
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Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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