I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize