he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize