is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
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long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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