All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize