Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
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Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
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Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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