playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
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Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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