is your mom at the bar?
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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