Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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