I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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