I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Randomize