This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
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He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
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I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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