you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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