I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize