she looked like the bat from fern gully.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
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So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
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his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
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